Saturday, March 15, 2008

what I really mean

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says "Thanks a lot" - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "you're welcome" .. that will bring on a "whatever").

(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying "Kiss my butt!"

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to # 3.

I was dieing when I read this. It is so me! I forwarded it to Jody and told him, "Hey if you really want to understand me read this. Make a couple copies of it and have it on hand because it will help you and us."

13 comments:

Heidi said...

Hilarious!

And at least since your b-day is on St. Patrick's day you actually have a reason to celebrate! Hope it is a good one.

Janelle said...

That is so true!! All of those were pretty accurate. Happy early b-day!!

The White Way said...

I had to read it out loud to Craig. I thought that it was perfect. guys do need to understand us better!!! Happy B-day!!!!

Debbi said...

Happy Birthday! I wasn't sure if you were going to post or not and I didn't to forget! Hope you have a great day!

Jami said...

Happy Birthday Kellybelly! I miss you! This post if really funny-even funnier that you sent it to Jody! HA!

Sarie said...

Great post and Happy Birthday! I can't believe you were born on St. Patrick's Day. That sucks that you have had to wear green on your birthday every year! Not too many options there... Wish I lived closer and I could take you to lunch!!!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday! I hope you have a great day! Your Mom said she was going to take you to lunch for your birthday. Where did you end up going?

Jen said...

So cute...and true! Kenny and I have been thinking about you today.I hope you have had a great birthday!!! Your birthday is easy to remember because it is the day before his. Happy Birthday!!

kh said...

Hello bad friend here! Thank goodness everyone on here has wished you a Happy Birthday, I would not have known. What are you now, 22? :0) Hope your day was GREAT!

Love this list, as I was reading it, I was like, She is RIGHT ON! I think I should laminate this one and staple it to my husbands forehead. Think that might help?

Kasey said...

I got this in an email a while ago and thought it was hilarious too!

Happy Birthday Kel! Hope you had fun shopping - You better not have gotten salt and pepper shakers with your money!!!

Lani said...

this is great... and so true! I will definitely make Donell read it. And Happy Birthday yesterday!! I hope you had a great day. Love you!

Lani said...

this is great... and so true! I will definitely make Donell read it. And Happy Birthday yesterday!! I hope you had a great day. Love you!

Kristan Carter said...

So Funny!! I was dying laughing..I can't wait to see you...Happy Birthday