When I found out I was pregnant I FREAKED out. Think hyperventilating, calling Jody bawling. Seriously this was NOT a planned pregnancy. I'm ashamed to admit that I was devastated. And I did feel guilty about those feelings knowing of so many who have a difficult time getting pregnant and who I can imagine desperately want children. But that still didn't console me because I just wasn't ready.
This may be too much information but I had stopped taking my birth control in October because it was making me a huge emotional/hormonal wreck. So on to condoms. My husband is not a fan but during all of this my OBGYN group split up and they all either moved or retired. So it was more then just a quick fix of calling and switching my birth control. We continued with condoms. Well as you all know it only takes one slip up and that's all it took this time.
We wanted to have another baby but we were going to wait until Rylee was at least two before we started trying so she'd be almost three by the time we had the baby. I have had a two year old and a newborn twice and it's hard.
Jody was gone at Young Men's the night I decided to take the test. He had no idea I was taking one. I called him crying and he was actually excited. He was excited because his attitude was, "Let's get this done." If we are having one more why wait. The next few days and weeks were hard for me. I was really depressed. I was just starting to feel like I was getting things under control again. Working out regularly, getting a little me time and feeling comfortable in my life. And an unplanned pregnancy threw me way off.
Over time the shock started wearing off and though I'm still weary of having four people rely on me for their every need, I really am excited and feel very blessed to have this baby boy (have no idea what we'll name him). I am eager to meet him, hold him and see who he looks like. But not so excited to start nursing, lose sleep and have a post pregnant body. Just last night Jody mentioned that he's not looking forward to cleaning tar off of the baby's butt. I just thought it was funny that we've come that far. That he even knows and remembers so well each stagee we will go through.
When I look at each of my kids, knowing how much I love them, I have feelings of giddiness (is that a word?) and I know this is just all part of a greater plan that I'm lucky to be apart of. And to tell you the truth when I found out we were having another boy I had feelings of wanting to possibly, just possibly, try for one more. To give Rylee a sister..., or perhaps another brother. Who knows. Go ahead and say it because I already know that I'm crazy.
13 comments:
I love honest posts like this! I think so many people feel like this when they find out they are pregnant they just don't admit it. I am finally feeling ready to maybe venture to the third child soon and I can't imagine the feeling of going to 4!
Having a new baby is hard but you will do great and get back to where you are now before you know it.
This may be TMI but I have loved loved the IUD (so does Tyler) and I had the same reaction to the pill that you have had. I have had no weird side effects. Just a little FYI...
You are awesome. Straight up and honest just like me. There is no thing as TMI for me! I feel the same as you do... thinking of number 4 even though number 3 just turned 1 today and I am so glad to be done nursing (but already missing it a little now that I don't have to do it). Those darn feminine emotions just mess with your brain! I relate to you so much.
I have heard Shelby talk about Natalie. Is she getting married in the Sac Temple? We live about 5 minutes from there, so if you need a place to stay let me know or I could watch the kids during the wedding. Just let me know the date and let's try and get together.
I love straight up and say it how it is...I have had all those same feelings and that is why we are waiting just a little longer..You are a great mom and if Heavenly Father didn't think you could do it.....he would give you another child..You will do great!!
I don't think you are crazy AT ALL. - I hate it when people say that to me! :-(
I also think you are being blessed with what you can handle and I think you could handle a whole dozen! You are an amazing mother, Kelly and I think you will be fine.
Keep me in the loop, I'd love to bring you over a meal when the baby is born. :-) Hugs!
NOPE!!! Not crazy, just a wonderful mother who takes her responsibilities very seriously. You have your head on straight and I think this is the BEST NEWS! You and Jody make such beautiful children, I think God thinks so too. (He had to sneak another one it there somewhere!)
I loved posts like this. Thanks for sharing.
You are such a great mom. I know it must be so overwhelming. I think of me... only having one and couldn't imagine how you do it with three! This little guy is going to be so loved and you are going to be so great. Still... if you ever feel like you need a shoulder to cry on... call me
Oooooh Kelly. I could tell over the phone that you were trying to be excited, but you were nervous, too. But Seriously. You're such a good mom. And you look GREAT post pregnant! you whip back into shape so quickly. I can't wait to meet the new Edmonson, I'm so excited about finding out your name choice, too! Hang in there, it'll go by in a flash. (jody's tar comment cracked me up!)
I'm so excited for y'all. I hope that in just a few months I'll be right behind you.
We went to the doctor and he told me to wait a few months to let my body heal. I am ready now. My baby is almost 6!!!!!!!!!
Having just given birth to my fourth, I have to say I think you are a LITTLE crazy to already be talking about another one. But you are a wonderful mommy and I know you can do it! Heck, give me a couple years to recuperate and I might be there with ya. Probably not, but I'm not gonna say never...
Love the picture of the kiddos. And hilarious comment of Jody's about the tar. Ethan only had it the first couple diaper changes...I think Jody can handle that one!
That picture is beautiful Kelly! I hope you frame it in your house.
And I love how REAL you are. You're a great mom...so glad you're having another (and maybe another).
I think you are a fabulous Mom, and part of that comes from your total honesty. I appreciate that! I was just thinking the other day how the experiences we are blessed with are the one's that Heavenly Father knows will not break us (some others might, but the ones we are individually given will not). You will do great!
Burk had a dream about you two last night so I told him that we should look at your blog. We are so excited for you guys! I have felt the way you have as well. Even though we haven't been preggers yet, still the feeling you get when you have to take that test is just enough to make you wanna crawl in a hole. I do believe that it is God's decision when he wants us to have babies and I am sure that you will be so thrilled once you get to hold this little nugget in your arms. We miss you!
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