Hello

So first I must apologize to everyone. I have not been checking or commenting on any of your blogs lately. So, sorry but this could be a good thing. It means I may actually have a life! I am not suppose to be up for too long so I will try to get going with the details of my life lately.

I got back from Stanford Tuesday night and got the best welcome home from my family. Ammon screamed, "Mommy" when I walked through the door and Cohen gave me tons of kisses, which is not like him, and kept laughing and smiling at me. So Wednesday morning I got up and got right back into my regular routine. Feeding the kids, changing Cohen's diapers, bathing, cleaning up the apartment, etc. Well I was feeling a little bit of pain in the lower part of my pelvis and didn't really let it slow me down. I thought maybe it was just one of those, have to go to the bathroom, type of pains. So I sat down to pluck my eyebrows, finished and got up to get a snack when I felt a sudden gush of blood run down my legs. It was a lot. I instantly starting saying, "no, no, no" and unbuttoned my paints to see that it had soaked through my jeans. I was shaking and trying to call Jody and the Dr.'s office. I finally got myself under control got on the toilet and called both. Jody came right home, went and got Alex to watch the kids, and then gave me a blessing. We obviously had to head straight to my Doctor's office. So the whole way their I had a flood of emotions. I was crying a lot. I mean once you get to 14 weeks you think, okay I am in the clear of the miscarrying thing now, and had started even thinking about when we would find out what the baby was. I never realized how emotional something like this is. To feel like you are pregnant one second and not the next is really, really emotionally disturbing.

So we got to the office and I was bleeding a lot. Then I went into the room and waited for my doctor. When he came in he made it seem like it wasn't a big deal, he thought it was because we had intercourse or something like that. Then he left the room so I could get undressed and he could do an examination. Well when I took my pants off I started bleeding like crazy again and he came back in while Jody and I were trying to clean it all up and looked very worried. He did the exam and then said he needed an ultrasound right away to see exactly what was going on. Luckily they have a machine in their office. So we walked around the corner and waited about 20 minutes for the tech to come do the ultrasound. Meanwhile I was bleeding all over the chair I was sitting on and Jody was giving me gobs of paper towels every minute to try to clean it up. It was so stressful waiting there. I just didn't know what I was going to see on the screen and didn't really want to see but wanted to know what was going on. So she came in and asked me a few questions and then started the ultrasound. I was shocked when she quickly said,"well something is definitely moving around in there." Then we saw our little baby moving and trying to grab his/her feet. We saw a good heartbeat, a perfect placenta, a closed cervix, and absolutely no reason for so much bleeding or any bleeding at all. When she was done she said everything looked perfect inside and around the baby. You have no idea what a relief this was to me. A few minutes before I was sure that I was losing our baby.

So we waited two more hours to talk to my doctor who was in a C-section at the hospital. But I didn't care. I was just so happy to still be pregnant and to see our sweet little baby. When we finally talked to him he said that once in a while this happens and that it probably has something to do with my cervix changing. At this point there is no medication he could give me to stop or control the bleeding. So I have to basically rest a lot and not do anything. I am still bleeding but it is not as often and as much. It should stop in the next few days and things will hopefully get back to normal. I have so many things to do! Finish Christmas shopping, make goodies for friends, wrap presents, clean, plan a Christmas party I am co-hosting with a friend tomorrow night, take stuff to my visiting teachers, get stuff for the family we are doing the 12 days of Xmas for, I could go on and on. But right now all I want for Christmas is to have a healthy baby in June and so for now I will sit and relax and let my body heal.